(Kenzie Anne, courtesy of bigcockbully.com)
Welcome to the first of my weekly columns on all things porn! It’s Friday, March 11th, sunny and in the 50s here in Brooklyn. A “boom cyclone” of winter weather is on the way this weekend. So, perfect wanking weather for some but not me. I don’t wank much in the winter. Guess I’m just a child of the sun and the sixties. With sex too–I can’t get an erection if it’s too cold. One winter years ago I was at an underground sex club in Manhattan and a beautiful young woman was trying to give me a handjob but for some reason they didn’t have the heat on and my Don Johnson couldn’t get rigid.
In college a girl told me she lost her virginity outside, naked in the snow while doing acid. I was less impressed with her daring to have sex in public than just amazed that the dude could get it up naked lying down in snow. The only way I could perform under those conditions would be with some “hillbilly Viagra.” That involves popsicle sticks and duct tape. You don’t want to know how it works.
Now, sex inside the ski resort log cabin next to a roaring fire with a babe who just shed her thick wool sweater… that’s what pictorials in “Playboy Magazine” told me adulthood would be like as I wanked to moldy copies I found in a neighbor’s trash cans when I was twelve. I’m still waiting for that winter vacation with the snow bunnies. Sigh. But I’ll settle for some time in a California hot tub. I had a pal in college who would always joke about “California Hot Tub Rectal Gonorrhea” but we’re all tested now so shut up old pal from college!
We’re cute right? 👀 https://t.co/MUSfHFoINY pic.twitter.com/UGIrdz3LZm
— Mia Malkova (@MiaMalkova) March 11, 2022
No, sex with punk girls and unemployed journalists is more my style and that’s why I’m excited to see Joanna Angel’s new feature “Hot Punx Girls.” The box cover uses a cool custom font for the title and a hot photo of Chelsea Grinds. Joanna began her career using heavily tattooed punk girls and guys as performers. Most of all I’m excited that she has moved back to New York!
I pray for the Ukraine people! If I had a MIG-19 I’d give it to them now, but all I got is a bicycle and a Navy Seal flashlight. I have to admit that most of the Ukrainians I’ve met have been strippers and porn stars, but that says more about me than it does about the great country that is being invaded by the evil autocrat in Russia. If you go to upscale strip clubs in New York you’ll meet a lot of ridiculously hot Russian strippers too. Should we boycott Russian cam girls? It’s not their fault but then again all Russians are going to feel the pain of economic sanctions. I don’t know the answer to that question. Please chime in on twitter with your opinion.
Meanwhile, the two gorgeous women on this boxcover are both Ukrainian. The whole “sex with flight attendant porn” genre is problematic, of course. (“Bring on the sexy stews!”) Airlines long ago stopped making physical attractiveness or female gender requirements for serving beverages and gingerbread cookies on airplanes. But it remains a popular fantasy we probably should be embarrassed about. Maybe it’s just women in uniform?
Neon Pictures has now set a U.S. release date for Ninja Thyberg’s film “Pleasure”: May 13. Her film about a young Swedish woman going to LA to become a porn star has generated mixed feelings. It was a winner at the Swedish version of the Oscars this year and a nominee at the recent U.S. Spirit awards and Thyberg has already been signed to direct a Hollywood film. Using a cast made up mostly of real people in the adult film industry, it is more accurate in many ways (and also more explicit) than most films of this type, yet it still has strong elements of what most of them unfortunately wind up being for audiences–cautionary fables. Despite the film’s depiction of new safety routines in porn, in one scene a producer intimidates the film’s budding porn star into doing things she doesn’t want to do. Is this the rare exception or a commonplace experience? Please tell me. And in the end–spoiler or maybe not as it is the cliche ending–she winds up rejecting the career she so enthusiastically sought after. I’ll be writing about this film at length closer to its release. If you’ve already seen it, please let me know what you think.
I’m going to end this premiere edition of my column with this incredibly hot video tweeted today by the Jules Jordan studio. It’s a very generous preview of an upcoming scene or film with two our favorites, Kenzie Anne and Manuel Ferrera. Remember to spring forward this Sunday, get your bracket ready, and like (and subscribe to) everything Joy Wankable!
One of our top models of the year Kenzie Anne takes Manuel to the edge time and time again! 🔥🔥🔥@misskenzieanne @manuelferrara pic.twitter.com/gPlKWtj7lr
— Jules Jordan (@JulesJordan) March 11, 2022
