This is the first of what we hope will be many free scripts we will offer to the adult entertainment industry. Why waste money writing the patter between scenes when you can just use one of ours? All we ask is that you credit us and include our url (joywank.com) in the credits. You don’t have to pay us, just credit us. These scripts are free for all production companies or even performers who want to use them for onlyfans.com videos. (We will provide a Final Draft formatted version upon request.)
The workout room of a martial arts academy
TIFFANY is wearing karate practice clothes. She is sparring with her MASTER, Tea Bag Gong, a much older man.
As they trade kicks and jabs (punctuated on the soundtrack by loud thwacking sounds), the MASTER asks her questions. Instead of “grasshopper,” (as in the ’70s TV series) he calls her “cocksucker.”
MASTER: Cocksucker, why you want to learn kung fu?
TIFFANY: Revenge, Master. I want revenge for what the House of Bad Porn has done to me.
MASTER: Yes, Cocksucker. But what has the House of Bad Porn done to you?
TIFFANY: They have stolen all of my colleagues and made them work for the House of Bad Porn.
TIFFANY and the MASTER face each other. The master holds a golden cock ring in his outstretched hand.
MASTER: Cocksucker! Snatch the cock ring from my hand.
TIFFANY tries several time but he is too quick.
MASTER: When you can snatch the cock ring from my hand you will be ready.
CUT TO:
FLASHBACK: A seedy club.
The CEO of the House of Bad Porn is sitting at a table with Kayla, a friend of Tiffany’s. She is reading a contract. Around them are many BODYGUARDS.
KAYLA: I don’t know. Tiffany is going to be furious with me when she finds out I’m going to work for the House of Bad Porn.
CEO: You wanna move up in this industry you gotta move. Who is Tiffany–your boss or your guru?
KAYLA: She taught me everything. How to smile while gagging on a cock. How to steal food from craft service for later. I owe her everything.
CEO: With the money you’ll be making–you can pay her back.
TIFFANY appears from out of nowhere.
TIFFANY: No, House of Bad Porn. You are not stealing another one of my friends!
The BODYGUARDS grab TIFFANY. An ASIAN MAN in the club comes to TIFFANY’s defense. He knows Kung Fu and gives the BODYGUARDS enough of a fight that House of Bad Porn’s entourage retreats.
TIFFANY and the ASIAN MAN are recuperating by having a drink at the bar.
TIFFANY (to ASIAN MAN): Thank you so much. I owe you my life.
ASIAN MAN: That is too much. Six or seven blow-jobs that I may have over the next few weeks at times and locations of my convenience will be a sufficient reward.
TIFFANY: Will you settle for a blow-job and a fuck right now?
ASIAN MAN (to BARTENDER): Check please!
TIFFANY and the ASIAN MAN have sex. Afterwards…
TIFFANY: Where did you learn Kung Fu?
ASIAN MAN: From Master Tea Bag Gong. He is the best Kung Fu master in the valley. Why? You want to learn Kung Fu?
CUT TO:
PRESENT TIME. TIFFANY and MASTER are fighting with swords. She knocks his sword away and stands over him with hers.
MASTER: (startled by this) Cocksucker, you are ready now.
TIFFANY: Yes Master. You have taught me well. And can I ask you one favor.
(She puts the sword closer to his neck)
MASTER: A wish is in order, cocksucker! Anything!
TIFFANY: Stop calling me cocksucker!
CUT TO:
SET of a House of Bad Porn film shoot. They are shooting a gang bang scene. 50 MALE PERFORMERS stand around wearing only boxer shorts.
MONICA is having sex with two of them while the camera rolls. Afterwards:
Sounds of fighting are heard off-screen. A bodyguard, badly beaten, runs in.
BODYGUARD: CEO, we are under attack!
CEO: Attack?
BODYGUARD: Tiffany has broken through our defenses!
CEO: I’m trying to direct a movie. Get back to work.
TIFFANY emerges, mid-air, as the two BODYGUARDS she has just kicked fall to the ground.
The 50 PERFORMERS in boxing shorts attack her, lined up like a side-scrolling video game and TIFFANY beats up all 50 of them.
MONICA: Tiffany, please forgive me.
Meanwhile, the CEO has made a getaway.
TIFFANY: Good. You have much to learn now.
MONICA: What? You thought I was bad in the scene?
TIFFANY: No. Well, I would done it differently, but… anyway… I mean now you will become a Kung Fu MILF and fight with me to rescue our other misled colleagues.
FADE OUT
